The year that was 2020 and now this far.

Sometime in the beginning of 2020 we heard of a virus affecting people in China. When I heard of it, I was reminded of the SARS epidemic in  2002 and the stringent measures taken by the Singapore government to arrest its spread. I was confident we would be safe as we were then.

So sometime end of March 2020 when we were asked to plan our lectures to present them online to students, I felt it would be only a temporary one and we would soon be back to classroom instructions. Initially I struggled to teach Statistics online as I was not really prepared with the gadgets that may be required. I used my phone, laptop, social media, juggling between them to conduct my classes. 

Being a meditation instructor, I was asked to conduct meditation sessions online as well, though that was easier than conducting Statistics classes online. Then came the end semester break and as I was not teaching in summer I had a fairly long break of 4 months. I had planned to go for my 45 day Vipassana meditation course in June-July but that was cancelled due to the Covid pandemic. 

I am not sure if it was the years of practising meditation that I stayed calm and equanimous through all these unexpected change in plans. I did a 10 day self course at home and it was very energizing and successful. I cooked the meals and meditated according to schedule.

I love staying at home. I seldom get bored with being at home. I have number of interests. I draw, sketch, paint, crochet, do macrame, read, play scrabble online, do jigsaw puzzles online, upcycle waste boxes, decoupage ..the list is endless. How can anyone be bored at home is just beyond my comprehension.

This doesn't mean I don't like being out doors. I love to cycle and sometimes go for walks. I would travel a lot between semesters to Malaysia and India to either sit for meditation courses or conduct them. Home is where the heart is and these places I travelled to were places I enjoyed going to. 

The sports activities I picked up this last year were badminton which I started playing since October 2020 and swimming which I started in February 2021. I enjoy them both, particularly swimming which I initially thought I was too old to learn.

I look forward to each day to either play badminton or to swim, either practising on my own or being coached by the instructor. The other major learning experience was baking bread at home...gluten free, vegan bread. Healthy bread that I practised and mastered the art by following some recipes and then tweaking a little to suit my convenience & taste.

I do occasionally long to visit my sister in Mumbai who lives there alone. I wish we were together in one place or house. But not yet. India is going through its second wave of covid and it's sad to hear people suffering and normal life restricted. 

I don't know if I am just lucky. But I wonder at all these new words that are going around to describe our mental state ...languishing is one such I came across today. I don't think I am languishing. Yes, my life has changed, but I continue to do interesting things. I am with the flow. "Flow" that brilliant concept that Mihaly Csikszentmihaly introduced us to years ago, to be fully immersed in what you are doing such that nothing else really matters. It is a totally happy state to be in. 

Yes, there is always something you are not happy with , and right now it's the pandemic and not being able to visit my sister. But depressed ? No ..Languishing? No. 

Werner Erhard's quotes come to mind "What is, is; What isn't, isn't."

"Happiness is a function of acceptance of what is" 

A Sanskrit prayer for the well being of all in this world:

सर्वे भवन्तु सुखिनः

सर्वे सन्तु निरामया

सर्वे भद्राणि पश्यन्तु

मा कष्च्ति दुःखभाग्भवेत

ओं  शांतिः शांतिः शांतिः

"Mind as healer, Mind as Slayer": Replacing fear with curiosity

"Mind as healer, the mind as slayer": I have read this Kenneth Pelletier book, way back in 1998 when I was studying for my PhD program. This catchy title has always been with me in my memories whenever I deal with challenges. It just takes a little impatience to go off balance and panic in the face of impending danger, and in contrast, it takes just a little practice to remain observant, calm under stress and stay on top of it. 

In my Statistics classes, I urge students to close their eyes and be with their breath for a few minutes before they write their test. I tell them a calm mind helps to solve the most complex problems. A calm mind helps us in so many ways. I urge them to develop curiosity of numbers not fear. I share with them my own experience of learning something as new as swimming.

I never thought I would learn to swim. I thought if you did not learn it when young, you have lost your chance. And then I was diagnosed with Chronic Venous Insufficiency (CVI) and read that swimming was a good exercise to help the blood circulation. I got to know there were swimming classes in the pool in the condominium I live in. I was curious and joined the class. I asked my coach if a person of my age can learn swimming. In reply, he told me he once taught a 90 year old lady to swim. I definitely did not want to wait that long.

The coach began with doing a few stretches before we entered the pool. Then we entered the shallow part of the pool and spent a few minutes getting used to the water. The first major exercise was to learn to blow bubbles under water. I struggled to learn this. Initially, I would simply hold my breath under water. This served my immediate purpose, but of course it wasn't the most efficient one. It just took a lot of practice. A lot of practice. Plenty of practice. And finally I got it. I learned to breathe out under water. To blow bubbles in water. 

Having achieved this milestone, I could easily glide face-down underwater and move a certain distance, then I would stop, stand up for breath and resume again. I did this for quite a few days. My coach meanwhile introduced me little by little the next task, to learn to kick like a frog. She was going to teach me the breaststroke. She taught me in a number of ways how to kick. It was fine when she was there, but I could not do it on my own. So I started watching youtube videos. There are plenty of instruction videos on learning the breaststroke. These helped me so much as I could picture the strokes in my mind and that helped translate into actual kicking.

The coaches were very good and taught me a few ways to relax in the pool by floating. I would keep my head on the edge of the pool and look up at the sky. This was one of the most relaxing exercises in the pool. It helped get used to the water, to trust it. To learn not to panic. The coach also taught me to bring my knees together and lift myself up for breath anytime I felt unsure of myself. This was extremely helpful.

Learning to kick, and then learning to pull with the arms were the next part of the coaching. Finally the sequence of pull, breathe, kick & glide for many lessons helped me improve my muscle memory. There were moments, when I forgot, swallowed water, forgot to breathe or let the water into my nose.

 

But then you start again and practise till you get it. The euphoria you feel at the end is certainly worth the effort. It took me exactly 2 months to swim independently. And it is only the beginning; there are a few other strokes I plan to learn. Replacing fear with curiosity has helped me go far in learning new skills.

Swimology: My swimming journey

 My respected meditation teacher Goenkaji tells us a story, "Swimology", during the 10 day Vipassana course. The story goes like this: There was once a very learned, erudite Professor who was travelling by sea. Learned as he was, every evening he lectured to his co-voyagers extensively on many of the curious things of life, demonstrating his wide, in-depth knowledge and expertise. An old sailor who worked on the ship was very impressed with the Professor and would attend his daily lectures regularly. One evening the Professor chanced upon him as he was leaving, and called out to him asking if he knows anything about Geology? The old man replied in the negative, nervously. The Professor said, "What? You know nothing about the earth you live on? Old man, you have wasted a quarter of your life!" The old man shook his head sadly and left. 

The next day, after the lecture, as the old man was cleaning up the place, the Professor called out to him and asked: "Old man, do you know anything about Meteorology? " Again the old man sadly shook his head, and asked "What is that sir?" The Professor replied, "Oh it is the science of the weather. Old man, you do not know anything about Geology, the science of the earth you live on; you do not know anything about the weather your ship is subjected to, you have wasted half of your life." The old man was indeed sad: the learned Professor says he has lost half his life, it must be true, what has he done that is worthwhile?

The third day dawned, and again after an enlightening lecture, the Professor called the old man and asked: "Old man, do you know anything about Oceanology, the science of the oceans?" The old man again replied, "No sir, I do not know anything, I never went to school at all!" Surprised, the Professor told him with a laugh: "You useless old man, you do not know anything about Geology, the earth you live on, you do not know Meteorology, the science of the weather you are subjected to, you do not know anything about  Oceanology, the science of the sea you are travelling on, you have lost three quarters of your life!" The old man left sadly.

The next day, the old man came running to the Professor and asked, "Professor sir! Professor sir! Do you know Swimology, sir?" Surprised, the Professor asked "Swimology? What is that? I have never heard of it!" The old man exclaimed: "Oh no sir! Then your whole life is wasted. The ship has just hit a rock and is sinking; those who can swim, can reach the shore, I am so sorry sir, your life is wasted!"

We may learn all the "logies" of the world, but if we do not know to swim the ocean of life, our lives are truly wasted. 

I love this story,  for its deep philosophical meaning and the more I listened to it course after course, I pondered over the idea of learning to swim. I thought I could never learn it. I hadn't come across any adult learning to swim and mastering it.

With age, I developed age-related medical issues and suffered from Chronic Venous Insufficiency.  This means that I had varicose veins which prevented the smooth return of the blood from the legs to the heart during circulation. I resumed anti-gravity yoga exercises, and came to know that swimming would be a good exercise for this condition. So when I heard there were swimming classes for adults in the place I live, I joined them with a great deal of hesitation & fear. 

Barely had I gotten over my initial fear of water when I developed severe ulcers on my feet, forcing me to abandon my grand plans to learn swimming. It took me two years to recover, more yoga and a long 30 day course in meditation and I was now again ready to resume my classes. 

So it was on the 9th of February 2021, with some hesitation and mild fears again, I resumed my swimming lessons. I practised diligently. My first milestone was being able to put my head in water and blow bubbles--basically breathing out in water. That helped me glide smoothly for a certain distance. Besides learning from the coach once a week, I would go to the pool on my own on other days just to practice what I knew to do, getting a feel of the water and becoming comfortable in it. Resting my head on the edge of the pool, face upward towards the sky and floating was the most relaxing activity I would do.

Then came learning the breaststroke. After being introduced to it I watched countless videos on youtube to reinforce my learning on how to best time myself, how to kick, how to synchronize the pull-bubbles-kick-glide routine. The videos helped in developing my muscle memory. The coaches were excellent. And finally, today, the 13th of April, two months after my first class, I could swim without the tube, board or any kind of support from one end of the pool to the other.

An incredible achievement for me! 

Swimology at last!