My name is Radhi. Just two syllables. Easy to pronounce. Or so I think. A lot of people do not have a problem with it. But some do. And I am quite intrigued at their questions and unwillingness to call me by that name. Some even choose to rename me because of their non-acceptance of it.
Yes, my mother named me Radhika, she told me. However, my sister who is 12 years older than me was impressed with a name Radhi Sittampalam, a Sinhalese ex-student of the school she went to (and later I) and so I got the name Radhi. My parents did not mind it and when I was registered in school it was as Radhi Kannan, Kannan being my father's name.
So that was how I was called right through school. In Junior College I remember once a senior chided a boy for calling me Radhi, instead of what she thought was Radhika, and he was thus being "disrespectful" of me. I clarified that it was indeed Radhi. She looked puzzled but did not say anymore.
Then came undergraduate admissions and I remember the lady at the counter suddenly insisting I give my actual name and not a shortened version. I asserted it was my real name: Radhi Kannan. She looked over at her colleague and asked her if she had ever come across a name Radhi. The other lady shook her head and said no, it is usually Radhika or Radha... not Radhi. However, as my school records did have it as Radhi, they couldn't do anything except be puzzled by it. So for fun, I simply thought up a reason: I told them that if it was Radhika followed by Kannan, there would be a "Ka" that was repeated. So, for brevity, it was Radhi. They were very pleased with that explanation and we all had a good laugh.
The next encounter was when I got married. While wedding cards were sent for printing, those that went forth for my in-laws, had Radhika on them and the ones that were printed by my parents had Radhi on them. In fact, my mother-in law initially called me Radhika, and later had no problems changing to Radhi after she realized that it was my name.
The strangest encounter was with a colleague I was working with. She would always call me Radhe. Initially I thought she hadn't got my name correct, so I explicitly told her it was Radhi and not Radhe. She said she knew, but she felt and thought that Radhi is not a name so she called me by the name that made sense to her. Isn't that weird? Can anyone randomly change someone's name like that? You are referring to a person right? A person with an identity, and a name that represents it? Well, our meetings were few, and I did not wish to make it an issue at that time.
I met an Indian Vipassana teacher at Kuantan, Malaysia. I was co-conducting a course with him. He told me that he was very puzzled when he was informed that "Radhi Raja" from Singapore would be the co-conducting teacher. He told me that no Indian can have a name "Radhi". Something is wrong here, he said, either she is not an Indian, or her name is not Radhi. The organizers have made a mistake.
When I clarified my name was indeed, Radhi he refused to accept it. How can that be? You must have changed it. Radhi doesn't mean anything you see! 🙍
One interesting confusion I need to highlight is that a lot of Tamilians take my name to be Rathi. This is probably due to the spelling for both Radhi and Rathi in Tamil script is the same. Probably the Sinhalese girl whom I was named after was also Rathi?
But no, I would rather prefer to be called Radhika to Rathi. After all, Radhika was what my mother named me initially right?
But really coming to Shakesperes' famous quote: "What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet." It will be good if people just accepted a name the way the person owning it wishes to be addressed.
