The complaining mind: Deep acceptance of what is.

"Complaining is the result of attachment to the thinking process...to ideas, ideals, words, views and opinions. "  Ajahn Sumedho 

Impressed by this quote, I listened to the author's talk on the Complaining Mind. He speaks of how we think there is a certain ideal we think we should live by. Or our way of doing things is the best and we become unhappy when people don't meet those ideals.  He offered a simple solution. Observe your mind, listen to what it says. Note that it is complaining because what is happening is not what it wants. But things do not always happen the way we want it to. Notice it. Just notice it, do nothing else.

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I know this is not new. We train our minds in this way during meditation. This is what I think, now what is happening in my body? What is the sensation I feel that is accompanying this thought?  Ajahn Sumedho was reminding me to do that. Note that you have this thought, note the sensation accompanying it. 

We become so attached to our thoughts, our way of doing things. We wish others would  understand us, know our ideals and behave according to our ideals.

I realised  that when I observe my thoughts without reacting to it, there is greater acceptance of what is happening. The thought is complaining about something, and just notice it "here is the complaining thought" "this person did this and that is not the way it should be done" and rhetorically asking: " How could he/she do this?" Observing it makes me realise that I am helpless about it. I cannot control myself thinking this way.  And I begin to accept that I cannot do anything. This acceptance of me having these thoughts, loosens the grip of these thoughts till gradually  I am no longer in their grip. They come, stay for some time, I give them my attention but not get upset by them or react to them. Accepting myself is an extraordinary feeling. I am not fighting anything, I am just letting myself be. I am letting my thoughts be and I am observing the sensations that come up, intense sensations and then observe them recede , just as my thoughts recede as well.

This is exactly what I felt while swimming this morning. The mind was complaining, feelings of helplessness came up. Tears were beginning  to come up. When I put my head in water, I felt calmer, and a greater sense of acceptance, of being held, of being supported. Gradually, the complaining thoughts began to recede. The acceptance I experienced was deep as I could accept myself with all of my ambivalent thoughts. They had found a temporary place to stay and play themselves out and recede when their time was over. I reached the other end.